Lia's Notes: How to Contact Effectively

How To Contact Effectively

(D&C 42:8-Have to FIND those who will receive. D&C 29:7- The chosen will listen to you. Alma 13:24- People being prepared before you get there)

Characteristics of Effective Contacting

1.       DECIDE (to yourself) and COMMUNICATE (to them) that the person is someone that you want to get to know (shh… ‘flirting’). The person is a potentially glorious child of a Divine Being.

a.       “We don’t make contacts, we make connections.” (’MTC Experience’)

b.      First make observations (Mormon 1:2-quick to observe) and then ask questions. It should be a conversation, meaning that you listen to the person and then respond specifically to what they said. The contact should talk more than you. (Becoming a Preach My Gospel Missionary, Elder Bednar, June 2011)

c.       Should be normal and happy and real. Smile. (PME 176- should be ‘warm and genuine’)

2.       Pray to find them (before) and what to say (during). You’ll only make an impact if you’re doing and saying what Heavenly Father wants you to, and He can’t tell you that unless you ask. (D&C 42:14- Spirit only received by the prayer of faith, 2 Ne 32:9- Pray always, do nothing without first praying)
3.       Use scriptures. That is where your power comes from. (Alma 31:5- Preaching of the word more powerful effect than sword.
4.       If a person isn’t moving, they are your target. (On the bus, in line, sitting in street, waiting for a bus, working in their lawn, etc.)

 a.       Need to teach lessons short enough and far apart enough that you’re not always in a rush to the next lesson and can stop to talk (D&C 61:3 – Don’t move so swiftly while people on either side are perishing in unbelief.)

5.       Fill ALL the forms of your Future Investigator table in your agenda (FULL name, address with HOUSE NUMBER, phone, when available, and how/where you met them) , and in the area book when you get home. Put them on the map. Write yourself clues to remember who they are. (Mni 6:6- record so you can REMEMBER)
 6.       If possible, teach a lesson in the moment. If not possible, set a specific appointment.
 7.       Give EVERYONE a mormon.org or passalong card with your names, number, direction of the chapel, and the meeting time. Write the date and time of the appointment if you made one.
 8.       If it becomes contentious, end it immediately. You might say the perfect thing, but when they aren’t listening you are wasting precious time. (3 Ne 11:30- contention is not of me, should be done away.)
9.       Ask for references from EVERYONE.

a.        Question is not ‘Do you know someone?´ but ‘Who do you know?’ (PMG 159)

 What should I say? (The Key, Mind-Changing Principles to bring up)

·         The Restoration. In every conversation. (PME 159)

o   There are lots of people who say ‘I’m not interested in changing religions—it doesn’t matter because they all lead to God.’ Lots of times, people don’t want to listen until we say something like ‘Christ only taught ONE doctrine of how to live with God and be happy, not multiple. Many of these truths were lost because people took them out of the Bible or changed them. But because God loves us, He doesn’t want us to not know the way to come back to Him. He’s restored the truths that were lost. Would you like us to visit you to teach you more about these restored truths?´ You’d be stunned at how many people change their mind and give us their datos.

·         Families Can Be Forever. (PMG 159)    

o   People like to talk about their families, almost everyone has one, and usually it’s one of the things people feel most strongly about and want help with. Really, the whole point of the first bullet point, Restoration, is about how to have eternal families.

o   Also, the Gospel helps families have more love, purpose, unity, peace.

·         Purpose of Life (They are a Child of God with Divine Potential, Here on Earth to Learn to Be Like God.)

o   Lots of time this leads to the idea of PRIORITIES (almost always ‘work vs. church’) and you can back them up to the wall of faith. Often people realize they don’t really have faith and need to learn how. (3 Ne 13:28-33)

o   Teach that our actions and what we do with our life have CONSEQUENCES now and for the eternities, so you’d better be doing it right.

o   Then tell them there are specific instructions from God about how to live life correctly and happily.

·         There really is guidance in life to discern what is truth – Modern prophets, Restored scripture, the SPIRIT
·         Their current religion and relationship with God/Christ.

o   Instead of ‘How is your relationship with God/Christ?’ (answer: ‘bien’), rather ‘Do you have a relationship with God?’ (works much better.)

·         Use the 10 points of ‘How To Begin Teaching’ (PMG 176), in a way that is part of the conversation.

Looking forward to "next time!"

Familia!

Aw… I had cool fotos to send you this week but they are taking forever to load. Next time.

That letter from Blaine was the best ever. (He wrote to us about a fun family event involving the “What About Bob?” movie)

I got special permission to go to the baptism of Juvencio y Jesus en Garcia Gineres on Friday and it was SO fantastic. I’ve never been so happy at a baptism before. We are going to be friends forever. 

Entrevistas (interviews) with President were this week. I presented a few problems I had noticed in intercambios (exchanges) and things I was hoping we could change (2-hour email time included, Mum :) ) I must have made a good case because he said, “Sister Ludlam, you are really smart.  I bet your Dad gives you everything you want.” :)  I’m glad I have a President that really takes opinions into consideration.

Eee! I am so excited for the capacitación mañana (training meeting tomorrow). I was telling Mom a little bit about it, but I’ll explain some of the training we’re giving about “Contacting Effectively” next week. It is an acquired skill. 

Handy little hamaqueros.

I have a question for the heads of household. If I buy the metal hamaqueros they use to hang hammocks, can we install them in the walls of the porch or Ava’s room (Thanks, Ava) or something? They’re not very big, but they do go in the wall...

I wish I had time to write more in-depth and useful things, but I will....next time.

AMOR
Hermana Ludlam

From Mum:  Thus the need for 2-hour email!

Maria's Baptism & Gerardo's Answer

Maria's baptism

Hola Familia!

Thank you for sending the Easter fotos! 

Do you guys know what the difference is between “Preaching” the Gospel and “Sharing” the gospel? Like, what things do I lose the authority to do when I get back home? I don’t actually know the difference between a full-time missionary and a normal member, except that there are less rules and no name-tag. We’re both supposed to 100% consecrate our souls to the Lord and put him first in our life and try to save everyone possible by sharing gospel truths and be a representative of Jesus Christ and do what he would do and be obedient with exactness. 

I’m thinking it’s that members don’t have the authority to teach the principles to investigators, but I’m not sure if that’s true. Are you allowed to contact people in the street and teach them a few principles? Or the person sitting next to you in the airplane? Or can you only bear testimony and give references to the full-time missionaries? It says in Doctrine & Covenants that you “shouldn’t think you are called to preach until you have been called” but then it says “if you have desires you are called to the work.” 

We definitely have problems with the members we invite to accompany us trying to teach things-- and we can tell that they don’t have the same spirit of discernment (or training) that we do of what the investigator needs to hear. Not sure what the rules on that are. 

Vanessa, Harper, Hassiby, Lia, Lorena Miguel Gonzalez Ramirez

By the way, good job, Mom, for doing what they said in General Conference and sharing what you are learning in PMG with your missionary. :) Maybe you guys could start studying PMG for family night again? I remember we did that a long time ago and it didn’t work very well, but that was back when I thought I knew what PMG was talking about and assumed I knew it already. Psshhh.

I put the Christmas card you sent me on the bulletin board and I have been thinking about you all a lot this week. I love you. OH GOODNESS we get to call in like 3 weeks!!!

Harper, Monica, Monica (mom), Lia, Norton, Alexander Lugo Briseño

We have a teenage investigator named Gerardo who said in the last cita (appointment) “Last night when I was asking God if the Book of Mormon was true, I was asking him what path was the correct one. I thought about what you said the first night we met, about how when we ask specific questions God can give us specific questions. And then I thought about how you said we need to ask with faith-- to decide to believe it and THEN ask God for a confirmation. So that's what I did.” He got an answer. :)  I don’t even remember teaching him that-- or if I did it was something very brief. I love how the Spirit carries things into hearts and into remembrance.

And that principle is SO true-- that is how I am learning everything I am learning is by studying for specific questions and thinking about it and coming to conclusions and having faith and then asking for confirmation and it works.

I love you forever, fambly.

Love,

Hermana Ludlam

49 Lessons!

Hola Familia:

I finally got my camera to work. 

Sister Garcia and I have been on fiiiire all week. 49 lessons! We are super happy together.

Lia and her new companion, Hermana Garcia.

Hermana Garcia is so great. Her past couple companionships have been a little rough so she’s estatic that we’re working so productively. I still crack up every time she uses English-- she actually speaks pretty well just from what she learned in school. I’m not sure why I get such a kick out of the English phrases she throws in, like “Nice.” or “Gosh.” or “Not anymore.”

One Spanish phrase I’ve picked up from her is how she always says “Ya estuvo” which is yucateca for “it already happened,” like, “it doesn’t matter anymore” or “whatever.” Last week we had a traumatic spider-killing (the first of about 10 in our new house--they are the big palm-sized kind), and after the frenzy of tennis-shoe smashing and shrieking subsided she looked down at it and said, after a second, “Ya estuvo.”

 "Los Almendros" where Lia loved the live musicians.

We are teaching a family that was a reference from a couple in our ward. They invited them over for a family night with us and they wanted to keep listening (that would be an excellent idea for you guys, by the way). At first it was just the parents, Luci y Carlos, that wanted to listen and were thrilled at all the tools the church has for building strong families. But they were told us “our teenage daughters are never home, and they’ll never want to listen.” Never underestimate the power of the Spirit. We caught the daughters late one night because they are on vacation for La Semana Santa (Holy Week). They both accepted fechas (dates). I LOVE seeing them kneel in prayer together as a family. I love seeing how the restored gospel

A Lovely Park in Mulsay.

CHANGES LIVES.

Since starting the intercambios (exchanges, the trainers meet with different sisters for a short visit and help with training) with the sisters I’m in charge of, I’ve learned a lot about judging. At first I was really worried because I was afraid it was wrong to try to look for people’s problems and try to judge what they needed to work on. I realized the way I judge is a mix of righteous judging and the bad kind of judging. The talk “‘Judge Not’ and Judging” by Elder Dallin H. Oaks really helped me. More on that next week.

Thank you all for your emails. 

Mucho amor,

Hna Ludlam

Did Conference not blow your socks off?!?

Hola Familia,

Did Conference not blow your socks off?!? I think if I had to pick three or four things I had been thinking about the most in the past few months, they would be: How to Know What Truth is, How to Be Obedient, How Christ Actually Loved People, and The Family's Role in Eternal Happiness. And they just happened to be the theme of the entire conference.

It makes me feel like Heavenly Father really is thinking about me. He really wants me, Sister Ludlam, to be able to be with Him and to grow and progress. He really takes into account the things I am struggling with and then finds ways to help me. Of all the wonderful things in my mission, I think this sense-- well really this perspective change-- of my personal relationship with my Father is one of the most important things that has changed in me. Even though my understanding of this relationship has changed drastically since I left home, I still feel like it’s in the baby stages. And even that tiny taste of what He is really like makes me want nothing more in the entire world than to be with Him.

Guys didn’t everything that they said about families make you SO EXCITED? The joy of eternal life IS being with families. It IS Love. But this love that brings a fulness of joy is not natural; it is something that only comes through Christ-- by living the principles and ordinances He has taught us. Good thing we have the restored gospel.

I love you all, by the way.

Lia's sisters had a little fun with her photo.

I also can’t tell you how much I love prophets. I have never felt a sense of urgency before to know what they are saying, because I think I have never had such a hunger for truth before or so suddenly aware of how rare real truth is. It's so nice to be able to hear someone talk and be able to trust what they are saying, because I know they have authority from God. Prophets are such a good idea.

I wish I could send you pictures of Hermana Garcia! For some reason, even though all the pictures are on the card when it’s in my camera, the drive shows up empty no matter what computer I plug it into. Maybe it’s the card reader. I'll try a different cable next week.

Anyway, it’s been a great week. It started off a little edgy because I’ve never had to be a companion with someone who wasn’t either a trainer or a trainee, because usually either my trainer had her habits of how to do things and I had none, or I had my habits and my trainee had none. But with Hna. Garcia, the BOTH of us have our ways of doing things and we’ve had to figure out how to reconcile. But it’s been groovy.  The words of Elder W. Craig Zwick about how to communicate and empathize are so true. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1Hjl5YAFS_Y

Wish I had time to write about what she’s like. Next week!

Love,

Hermana Ludlam

Sister Training Leader in Mulsay 2!

Hola Familita,

Pues cambios otra vez (We have transfers again).  I am going to open the new Mulsay 2 area (which is actually right next to Madero) and... serve as Sister Training Leader! My companion is also a Training Leader, Hermana Garcia. She is from la Republica Dominicana and she has got some FUERZA (power, strength). Pictures next week. 

Parque Chino in Mulsay 2

Did you know I have been on my mission for 6 months?! That’s like a third already!

Oh, you guys, I am leaving so many beautiful investigators.  You know, before my mission, I never thought I would have this kind of relationship with the people I taught. I thought I would kind of touch down into their lives for a few months, teach them and take off again but it’s like we’ve forged these eternal bonds of love and then I just LEAVE! It’s probably a good thing, though, because one of the things H' Harper and I have noticed is that when we are too much of friends with our investigators, we worry about telling them what they really need, in fear of hurting their feelings or making them not like us. Or they become more attached to us that to the things we’re teaching them. So it’s probably good, it just hurts.

I’ll get to see everybody from Gineres next week at General Conference, though. :) (The church broadcasts a worldwide conference via satellite)  I AM SO EXCITED FOR PROPHETIC COUNSEL. My favorite part from the women’s conference was “to not only love each other more, but love each other better.” (B.L. Oscarson) That is a good line. I think that’s kind of the whole point of the góspel, really.

Hay que triste (oh so sad)... I have pictures of Maria’s baptism, of eating lunch in a fancy restaurant with Jesús, of lots of people from Garcia Gineres... but there’s something wrong with gmail I think. Next week, I guess.

Man, I wish you guys could have gone with us to the restaurant in Centro with Jesus. He took us out for preparation day and was very much the host (he is probably our classiest investigator. He didn’t even order food so he could talk to us the whole time.) You guys, there was LIVE MUSIC!  This band of 3 guitarists stayed in the corner, and I think I enjoyed the music more than the food! One of the guys was super virtuosic and--Grant you just about would have died!

I got your package that you sent the FOURTEENTH of MARCH! It got here in two weeks! Thank you for telling me about your baptism, Luci. And thanks for sacrificing your conference Ensign, Mum. It will be heavily utilized. Livi, mum sent me the video of you playing bass and I watched it illegally. Bieeeen hecho (well done).

Something I’ve been thinking long and hard about is how we can know what things and what truths we can trust... because I kind of want to know everything. I’m starting to realize that there are an awful lot of explanations for everything and real, pure, solid truth is very rare. Truth IS the Word of God, but sometimes it’s hard to know what really is the Word of God. Man has lots of different interpretations. That’s why it’s so wise of Heavenly Father to tell us that in the mouth of two or three witnesses shall the truth be established-- the search for truth involves an awful lot of cross-referencing and experience-comparing and hard-core praying and seeking for confirmation of the Spirit. And just a lot of patience and faith because I’m never going to understand everything correctly. I can try.

I love you guys. I love your letters, too. They are still as good as the first one six months ago.

Amor,

Hermana Ludlam

Golden Families Make Me Happy!

Hnas. Harper, Ludlam, Torales, Janco at the temple

Hola Familia,

I don’t know what happened but it’s like every single person we are teaching is de oro (golden)-- practically ALL of our investigators are seriously progressing toward baptism. And there are like 10 of them! And we keep picking up more of them! AND we’re teaching our first-ever COMPLETE FAMILY (which practically do not exist here). Two parents and two kids! 

I love La Familia Lugo Diseño. The first visit, the Mom was telling us about how she reads the Bible and then just casually mentioned how she was applying some of the verses she read this week to her life, and then she showed us the inside cover of their family Bible where the Dad had been keeping notes on his favorite passages and keeping a mini Topical Guide of themes and references.

We met the Dad for the first time last night and he told us, “We have been looking at a LOT of churches as a family looking for something that fills, that satisfies us.” And then we sang “Las Familias Pueden Ser Eternas,” (Families Can Be Together Forever) and he says “Okay, I like this.” And then we started teaching them the first lesson about the nature of God and his plan for us and then about prophets and apostasy and he said, “I didn’t know it was possible to find a church that taught so much of what I already believed.”

AAAHHH… their family is the best. Families make me so happy, guys. 

Christian's baptism.  He is in the green shirt.

I don’t know whether all of this success is because Heavenly Father is making us better missionaries and so we are turning people into more oro-y (golden) investigators, or if Heavenly Father just trusts us and is just placing all these already-prepared people in our path. I’m a pretty happy missionary though.

Ooh! the baptism of Christian! He’s the one in green. There were so many people we could hardly fit in the room. He had THE BEST smile when he came up out of the water and we had three other investigators attending and it was a super great thing for them, too.  I'll have to send the picture in another email because it's not pasting,

Also, we did intercambios (exchanges) and had a little extra time before Christian’s interview, so we took pictures with Hermana Torales y Hermana Janco in front of the temple.

Love you guys,

Hna. Ludlam